The pain of divorce is unimaginable. So much so that even finding the words to write about it seems an impossible task. For those of you who’ve been through divorce, I hope you find some relief in knowing someone else understands your grief. For those of you who haven’t, maybe reading this piece will help you understand and allow you to be more compassionate of those who have.
Strength and Determination
It’s been almost nine months since my children and I packed up what we could take of our previous life and moved out on our own. Yet, each day continues to be almost as painful as the last. I say “almost” because every day since that unforgettable moment, we have continued to take tiny baby steps forward, which is a sign of our strength and determination.
I never planned on taking this route in my life. Like everyone else who marries and has a family, I had dreams of happiness and success. Having children has been the biggest blessing in my life so far, and I continue to cherish every moment with them. Yet, there are things in our lives we can’t predict. Things we can’t always control, regardless of what others may tell you. Divorce is not a failure, but more of what I would describe as a series of “unfortunate events.”
These events have carved such a division in our family that moving forward in a new direction is the only option we have of finding the relief we so desperately need. Especially for my children.
Reimagine What You’re Capable Of After Divorce
For me, starting over has meant a new home, new responsibilities, new everything, but also a new chance to change the direction of my life. I’ve been given an opportunity to reimagine what I’m capable of, and I’ve taken the challenge head on. Because, not only do I owe it to my children, but to myself as well. Last spring I went back to university to upgrade my skills. Now, I’m working towards a degree in Communications and Publishing, and I’ve never looked back.
Going back to school has allowed me to escape from the pain of my divorce by focusing on my personal growth and independence. It has given me something positive to focus on, as well as provided my children with some security about our future. I hope to teach them that anything is possible. And I hope they will grow up to understand that even though some things in our life are out of our control, others are well within our reach.
As painful as it is, sometimes divorce is the only option to healing a family. I know it will take time, but day by day things will get better. Most importantly, I’ve developed an understanding of what so many couples, children, and families suffer from on a daily basis, and this lesson had taught me to be more compassionate of others.